Thursday, 8 January 2009

The tour..

That's it now with the Beastie's imagery. I wish the illness was on tour or at least outside, cabin fever is setting in a little. I caught the Beastie Boys on tour in nineteen ninety five, that was the Ill communication tour. Ill communication is once again what I have for you. Another tale as promised yesterday. As before it's set in Canada but not the Rockies. It takes place in Edmonton which is in Alberta. This is where Michael J Fox hails from. The Michael J Fox I speak of is the actor whose film Back to the future boosted skateboard sales in nineteen eighty five not our American friend and one time Slam employee now residing in NYC. I'll type the story as it is written down.

My Uncle lives in a quiet neighbourhood in Edmonton. I was there visiting. One night we were out walking the dog past the many different houses, each one built in it's very own style. At a glance in the dark each one could be a facade. We round the corner and walk past the space age house which is owned and designed by an architect. A huge cylindrical window is all that's visible from this side of the street. It's outside this house while the dog writhes around upside down on the architects lawn that he tells me about the mega bunnies.
I didn't believe him at first. Apparently they operated all around the neighbourhood. He described them as large rabbits, bigger than a hare, the size of a medium sized dog. He assured me that if I were to walk around enough I was sure to see one. I spent the next week and a half looking, expecting.
On the second to last night I cut out of the house to smoke under the lamp at the corner of the street with my brother. I didn't let my cousins see me smoke. After a night of beers before and after dinner the bunnies were the furthest thing from my mind. Suddenly I turn away from the lamp light and there's one right there in the centre of the street. It is stood on it's hind legs looking right at us. The animal was much bigger than I imagined. Standing there like that it was like looking at a miniature kangaroo. It paused like that for a second and then hopped off into the bushes.I was made up. I'd done a lot of amazing things already on the trip but had written off a mega bunny encounter. I'd now seen one in all it's glory. Privileged and tired I went to bed. The morning was to bring our last full day.
I got up reasonably early, well before noon and gathered my brother and my cousins for a walk up a few blocks to the plaza to buy some fruit juice at a shop we'd go to fairly regularly. Crossing the main road I spot my second mega bunny. Recogniseable mainly because of the colour of it's fur. It is pasted flat across the road, blood and guts beside it. It must have had some serious running over. You could see it's size still, it's surface area there in the road. You could also make out a leg or two.
Right next to it lay a dead Magpie. Body still in tact, one wing out stretched, beak down. It looked to us more like it had been shot than hit by a vehicle. The chances are slim that the two creatures should end up side by side like that, better than alone though somehow. We stood and looked at the two of them for some time. Our conclusion was that the bird had definitely been shot. Another Magpie was spotted in a similar state a few days back, maybe there was a sniper on the loose.
I saluted the Magpie as is customary even though luck was not on it's side and I stopped again on the way back past to do the same thing. Those lives ended right there in the middle of a busy street. I'm glad that wasn't the only bunny I saw that trip. The memory I have of the other is far more pleasant.

Well there you have it, another small story. You may not believe in these creatures, perhaps you think the delirium sickness has brought on has caused me to imagine them. I assure you they are very real, I think they are wild jack rabbits. Mega bunnies is a far better name..

Like a scene from Alice in Wonderland.

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